The Nothing Spiral

A picture’s worth 1000 words. The nothing spiral. Most ironic part of this cover photo - it is a still taken from the filming of the press release for A Dollar Is Magic. A morning where I had already moved forward 4 majors projects for work and had a successful personal morning with the kids. But at 11:55 am, I found myself on the phone at lunch to my mom saying:

"Ugh, I’ve accomplished nothing today!”

How many times has the day ended with the feeling like nothing was moved forward? In my career (and life in general), I have ended the day countless times feeling like the day defeated me. Truly feeling in my core that “nothing” had gotten done.

Was procrastination a culprit? Or was I measuring my day’s accomplishments wrong?

In recent years, I have become much more conscientious of this harshness on myself. Because reality is the absolute opposite. There is a near 100% probability that there is not a single day in the 365 days in a year where this is a true statement. Not as a business owner with three small children. Even on a sick day, parents are rarely allowed to crawl under the covers.

Yet here I was, caught again in the nothing-spiral.. I called my mom at 11:55 am and heard myself say a couple different times, “Ugh, I’ve done nothing.”

I stopped myself mid-sentence and laughed out loud and said, “Mom, this isn’t true at all. I’ve done so much already.”

And I started listing it all out, “I filmed a press release video for A Dollar Is Magic that’s being sent to all the major news outlets nationally, I met with my Tentho operations team to make decisions on technology initiatives, I spoke with a bank to close a multi-million dollar loan for a client to expand their business, I networked with a new industry partner, let alone just the normal household morning routine of boys to summer camp and baby cuddles before even starting my work day.”

Clearly, my nothing-spiral words were false.

Within 6 waking hours, I had already accomplished so much! So, what was the culprit of this mindset? And how do we exile this negative feeling about ourselves?

Always the Numbers

With these topics, I am curious if I am the only one that feels a certain way. So, I enjoy searching the internet for any studies that can bring familiarity to the challenge I am facing.

• 60% of workers feel accomplished at the end of the workday if they have completed their to do list (Wrike, 2019).
• 72% of leaders feel burnt out as they bring their workday to an end (Global Leadership Forecast, 2023).
• 89% of entrepreneurs see their workload as too heavy (Global Leadership Forecast, 2023)

Are we expecting too much of ourselves all from the same day?

The Next Step

There is no real completion to task lists. So, that is a poor measurement to feel personally accomplished. Just recently, a dear friend and advisor sent me a hilarious meme about a generational task list. Keep reading to see it.

I have worked to change my daily mindset. Bringing the day to a close knowing that I did my personal best given the day’s circumstances and challenges.

3 Quick Wins to Change the “Nothing-Spiral” Mindset:

1. Not Your Typical Task List. This is a full topic on its own. But I’ll quickly summarize. Create a task list with achievable goals for the day (factoring in your meeting and appointment schedule). I keep two lists. One is long-term and one is short-term.
   • The Long List. This is the list that allows me to sleep at night. Tasks I am about to forget constantly drop into my head. I write all these items down on the Long List, so they are out of my head. It brings my mind peace. This list is separated by Work and Personal. Sometimes, I’ll break it down further by Community, Work Project Titles, Family, etc. This list is digital. I tend to keep the personal items on my phone and the work items in a task management solution online.
   • The Short List. My team hears me frequently reference, “Yup, that made it to my short list.” When they hear this, they know the task will be completed within the next 24 hours. Personally, I need the feeling of physically crossing off a task when it happens. And seeing the full list at the end of the day and what I accomplished (or didn’t accomplish). So, I utilize a daily planner. Rule of thumb is to have only 5-8 tasks on this short list.
2. Daily Planning. I end my day by looking at what I accomplished and did not accomplish for that day. I will move the tasks I did not accomplish to the next day. And I’ll quickly make a mental note as to why I did not accomplish the task if I am moving it forward. Was the task incomplete because I am waiting on someone else now? Was it incomplete because I am having my own mental block about starting the task? Or is it incomplete because other urgencies came up? Rather than give myself judgement for not completing the task, I am honest with myself for the reason it was not completed.
   And if I find myself in the nothing-spiral mindset it is likely I have not purposeful in writing down my tasks for the day.
3. The Main Task. “Eat the frog” is a phrase attributed to Mark Twain. It means get done with your hardest task first thing in the morning. Each day usually has an elephant task. The task that is being dreaded. The task that is longer or more annoying. If I end the day and I have accomplished 8 small tasks, but the main task is not complete then I find myself again in the nothing-spiral mindset.
   So, the bigger question is, why did the main task make my short-list? Was it achievable or did it need to be broken down into smaller more bite-sized tasks? Find the “frog task” or the “main task” and knock it out first. It will make the remainder of the day much less stressful and the nothing-spiral is usually avoided.

And a bonus #4.

Allow self-compassion. Allow compassion for yourself when a child becomes sick, and it derails all your plans. This does not stop your plans. It merely pauses them. And tomorrow is a new day!

Changing my own mindset from feeling like "nothing" was accomplished to recognizing daily wins takes patience, habit-changing and self-compassion. Every small step forward is progress. Celebrate achievements, however small they may seem. Each day brings new opportunities for success and growth.

Truly,

Helen

P.S. Enjoy this laugh for generational task lists!