The Elusive Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance was popularized in the 1980's. The concept was encouraged by various business management minds to promote well-being and productivity in the workplace. The idea was for employees to create harmony between work commitments and personal pursuits and prioritize these equally.

The school of thought surrounding work-life balance appears to define it quantitatively through time-spent rather than by an emotion or a feeling.

I chased this elusive time equilibrium of work-life balance for nearly a decade. And then I started questioning if it existed...

My Personal Journey

Starting with recruiters in college, work-life balance was promoted as to why I should work for one company over another. I never quite understood the definition, but the companies were so proud of their ability to offer this to new employees. I found myself becoming unhappy because of the pressure I was putting on myself to find this "work-life balance" that everyone kept advertising and encouraging. Why was I so unsuccessful at achieving it?

When I became a mom, the work-life balance became entirely nonexistent and my own stress to achieve it went through the roof.

In the past two years, I observed my own life and read a handful of growing opinions about the impossibility of work-life balance in a state of equilibrium. I suddenly felt so validated that I was not the only one feeling like work-life balance did not exist and it needed to be redefined.

From my own experience, my attention is pulled toward work or the children on any given day (or hour). For example, if there is a major client deadline, I may tell my husband I need to work through dinner and I need his help with the full bedtime routine. Then I'll proceed to work until midnight. Working until midnight used to be my normal but now it is reserved for urgent deadlines.

Or perhaps one of my children wakes up in the middle of the night with a fever. School is not an option. And our backup childcare has a plumbing explosion at their house. And my husband is out of town for work. There is no choice but for my attention to be on my child that day while doing my best to manage the most urgent work assignment and pushing all others until the following day.

The not-so-drastic example of work-life balance would be when work and the day are going according to routine. Then the question is, am I saying "yes" to the parts that fill my life with peace and happiness and "no" to the parts that are not fulfilling.

(Within reason … as we all have mandatory responsibilities that we would happily give away).

To me this is life. To me there is not a 50/50 even split of our time. There will be a pull and tug of priorities each day.

Always the Numbers

Deloitte publishes an annual survey called Women @ Work: A Global Outlook. 2023 is the 3rd annual survey and findings are critical in understanding and retaining women in the workplace.

2023 Results:

• Lack of work-life balance was one of the top-cited reasons women leave their employer (or want to leave their employer).
• 2023 findings reported that more women left their employer in the past 12 months than in 2020 and 2021 combined (likely due to burnout, non-inclusive behaviors, and challenges with hybrid work).
• 88% of respondents work full-time and nearly 50% have primary responsibility for domestic tasks.
• 20% of respondents who are primary earners feel pressured to prioritize their partner's career over theirs.

THIS one that stood out to me the most:

• 97% of respondents said requesting or taking advantage of flexible working opportunities DOES affect the likelihood of promotion in the organization.

This is an astonishing statistic and one where companies need to focus attention!

The Next Step

My solution is based on my own experience rather than statistical facts.

The HAPPINESS question:

• When I end a workday feeling accomplished – what specifically made me feel accomplished? Happy? At peace?

My Answers: Knowing I provided value to my clients. Knowing I provided peace of mind and knowledge to my team. Knowing I completed the most urgent tasks of the day, and I can close the day and turn my attention toward my family without work-guilt hanging over my head.

• When I finish putting my kids to bed and I feel proud of my mothering – what specifically made me feel accomplished? Happy? At peace?

My Answers: Knowing I gave my children individualized attention. Knowing I engaged in playtime led by them. Knowing I hugged them and cuddled them and made them feel loved and special.

The answers will not be the exact same for all of us. But those answers are what drives our work-life balance. Not finding a 50/50 time-based equilibrium.

I believe work-life balance is finding a peaceful and happy equilibrium which is not time-defined.

Filling up the cup,

Helen

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Co-Founder of Tentho – the Future of Accounting. Contact me directly if you are interested in using Tentho as a board member, CFO, tax accountant, or financial accountant.

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References: Deloitte – Women @ Work 2023: A Global Outlook